There’s no denying that when we have satisfying intimate personal relationships, we generally experience less stress, greater emotional and physical well-being, and more resiliency to bounce back from adversity.
Likewise, it’s no secret that solid relationships and professional success go hand in hand.
According to Keith Ferrazzi, acclaimed entrepreneur and leading global expert in networking and professional relationship development, what distinguishes highly successful people from everyone else is the way they use the power of relationships.
Keith Ferrazzi is a #1 NY Times Bestselling Author of Never Eat Alone and Who’s Got Your Back, Founder & Chairman of Ferrazzi Greenlight, and an executive team coach to some of the most prominent organizations in the world.
In his insightful and impactful online course, Mastering Authentic Networking I recently took, Ferrazzi points out that an essential element of any good strong solid relationship, whether professional or personal, is your ability to be candid with the other person. Being candid means being forthright; not abusive or aggressive.
Likewise, the inability to speak your truth and the inability to be heard is the detriment to all relationships. In other words, it’s what Ferrazzi calls “Tea-pot” candor, which he explains like this.
If something needs to be said, it’s a flame. You put a teapot on top of that flame. That flame will begin to boil the water. People will start to feel things. And as people feel things, if the top is off, if candor is flowing freely, if people can feel comfortable with each other in saying what they’re feeling and thinking, then it’s fine.
But if the top is on, then the steam begins to build pressure. And that steam needs to come out in different ways. It will come out in spurts of passive-aggressive behavior. Or it might just blow the top off in terms of a temper outburst because it wasn’t able to be expressed.
Also, according to Ferrazzi, the freedom to give and receive candor comes with building both intimacy and generosity in the relationship. Because the more generosity there is, particularly when each of you feels safe enough to be vulnerable, the more solid and meaningful your relationship will be.
Think of being generous as giving the other person what he or she needs. Particularly in our intimate personal relationships, I know how hard this can be when we feel our own needs are not being met. But consider this. What if we first become generous with the other person without expecting anything in return? After all, as the saying goes, you get what you give. Or you reap what you sow.
Think of being generous as the same as when you go to pick out a birthday gift for someone special. You think about what that person likes and what they might enjoy receiving. You wouldn’t typically consider only what you would want to receive.
It’s the same with what you can give in your relationship. Things the other person would like and appreciate. For instance, in your personal relationship, maybe you know she likes a certain kind of flower, or she always needs a hug when she hangs up the phone with her mother. Or he likes to know you value his opinion or expertise.
In a business or professional relationship, maybe it’s the newest book from an author he admires.
It’s things like these, that might not seem like much in the moment, especially when we have so many other things to do. But doing them regularly and consistently, over time can and will make a big difference in any relationship.
Like this post? Sign up to receive our newsletter and receive more tips, updates, advice, and inspiration right to your inbox.
