When a potential client comes to me for a consultation to find out what divorce entails, we will talk about what’s been happening and why they are considering divorce at this time. We will talk about your most pressing concerns and what outcome you most want to achieve.
If you are clearly struggling with deciding whether or not to divorce, we might talk about whether you and your spouse have similar or compatible values, where perhaps you might consider ways to save the marriage. Or if and your spouse have incompatible values, whether you are both willing to communicate, listen, and work together.
Whether you ultimately decide to divorce or not, it’s important to know what’s involved and what you can expect in a New Jersey divorce.
For instance, during the consultation, we will often talk about how you might save time and money and keep things more amicable by reaching out of court divorce settlements that resolve all issues including child custody, parenting time, child support, college costs for children, alimony, and division of marital assets and debts.
Here are three general actions to start with to on the road to reaching an agreement with your spouse:
1. Consider Parenting time.
If you have children, they need both of you now more than ever. Consider the future that you want your kids to enjoy with each of you. Start right away by taking concrete steps to minimize conflict in the home. It can be helpful to think in terms of cooperation instead of confrontation, difficult as that can be in the midst of a divorce.
It is generally best for kids to spend time with each parent on a regular basis. So, to this end, work together to come up with a mutually agreeable custody and parenting time agreement .
Also consider how large upcoming expenses will be paid – things such as buying your teen a vehicle or college tuition – to avoid court for such decisions.
2. Inventory the financials.
Ideally with your spouse, take stock of all assets and debts acquired during the marriage, as well as marital income and expenses.
You can start by assembling important documents that include bank statements, tax returns, and documentation for values of debts, assets, including pensions and retirement accounts, and property valuations.
3. Consult with financial and/or tax advisors.
They can help you decide on important financial decisions including whether to keep or sell the home or how to structure and leverage assets that can help each of you achieve short- and long-term goals. Financial and tax advisors can be instrumental in helping you develop short- and long-term budgets.
Many times, divorce agreements can be reached by negotiating or mediation, or by other means depending on your particular circumstances. The agreed upon terms are generally incorporated into a written divorce agreement, commonly called a Marital Settlement Agreement.
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