Back-to-School Stress and Marriage Strain: A Seasonal Spike Many Families Don’t Expect
If you’ve noticed more conversations about divorce as summer turns to fall, you’re not imagining it. Across New Jersey and nationally, divorce filings often increase in late summer and early fall, often peaking in September. Parents sometimes wait until children return to school before beginning the divorce process, while others find that back-to-school stress amplifies existing strain in their marriage.
At M. Hart Divorce & Family Law, I, Michele Hart, have worked with many clients in Morris County and throughout Northern New Jersey who decide to move forward with divorce during this time of year. If you’re feeling this pressure yourself, you’re not alone, and it may help to understand why September brings this shift, what the law requires, and how to navigate your options with clarity and confidence.
Why September Often Becomes “Divorce Season”
Several factors combine to make September a common time for new divorce filings in New Jersey:
- End of summer “waiting period”: Many parents delay divorce filings until after vacations are over so children can enjoy summer without disruption.
- Back-to-school transitions: New schedules, extracurriculars, and financial responsibilities can create tension between parents who are already struggling.
- Reflection after summer: For some, the less-structured summer months highlight existing marital problems.
- New year on the horizon: Couples sometimes want to begin the process before the end of the calendar year for financial or personal reasons.
The Emotional Toll of September Divorce Decisions
For many parents, the decision to file for divorce isn’t just about legal rights or financial stability. It’s also an emotional decision. September often brings a mix of guilt, stress, and uncertainty that can weigh heavily on families:
- Parents often worry about how divorce will affect their children’s focus at school.
- Spouses may feel added tension as routines shift and old disagreements resurface.
- Families sometimes struggle with the fear of disrupting an already delicate balance.
I remind clients that, while the timing may feel overwhelming, what matters most is taking steps that protect both your children’s well-being and your future.
How New Jersey Divorce Law Comes Into Play
In New Jersey, a spouse can file for divorce on either fault-based grounds (such as adultery, desertion, or extreme cruelty) or no-fault grounds (irreconcilable differences). For a no-fault divorce, you must show that the marriage has been broken for at least six months and that there is no reasonable chance of reconciliation.
During the school year, certain issues often take center stage:
- Child custody and parenting time: Courts in NJ base decisions on the best interests of the child. Back-to-school schedules, transportation logistics, and educational stability are key considerations. Disagreements may also arise over school choice, extracurricular activities, and who covers related costs.
- Child support: New Jersey’s guidelines account for many school-related expenses, including extracurricular activities, lessons, transportation, and supplies. Some costs, such as private school tuition, may be treated as supplemental.
- Alimony: In some cases, new school-year expenses highlight financial challenges that may factor into alimony discussions.
Financial Strain: Preparing for Extra Expenses in September
When families consider divorce in the fall, financial questions often take center stage. School-related costs can be significant, and parents may feel pressure when one spouse is carrying more of the burden.
A few financial steps to consider:
- Track recurring school expenses (supplies, activities, tutoring).
- Review how these expenses fit into child support or settlement discussions.
- Consider how divorce may affect future costs like college contribution obligations.
Understanding your financial picture early makes it easier to plan for negotiations or court proceedings.
Common Misconceptions About Divorce Timing
Many people hesitate to move forward because of myths about divorce filings. Here are some of the most common misconceptions I hear:
Myth 1: “I have to wait until January to file.”
Reality: While some couples do wait for financial reasons, New Jersey allows filings year-round. September can be a practical time because children are already in their school routine.
Myth 2: “The court will always favor one parent for custody.”
Reality: Custody decisions in New Jersey are based on each child’s best interests, not automatic assumptions about mothers, fathers, or prior roles.
Myth 3: “Filing first gives me an advantage.”
Reality: Filing first may set the timeline, but both spouses have equal rights in property division, custody, and support matters.
Practical Steps If You’re Considering Divorce This Fall
If September has you thinking more seriously about divorce, here are a few ways to prepare:
- Organize important documents: Collect financial statements, tax returns, and records of school-related expenses.
- Think about parenting schedules: Consider what routines work best for your children during the school year.
- Review your finances: Understand income, debts, and household expenses so you can make informed decisions.
- Take care of yourself: Divorce is emotionally draining. Building a support system early can help you move forward with clarity.
- Seek legal guidance: Even if you’re not ready to file, a consultation can help you understand your rights and options.
Finding Clarity During Divorce in New Jersey
As a Morris County divorce attorney, I understand that the thought of filing for divorce in September (or any time of the year) can feel overwhelming. My role is to provide the guidance and support you need to protect your rights, reduce conflict where possible, and focus on your children’s well-being and your future.
If you live in Morris County or Northern New Jersey and are thinking about divorce this fall, I invite you to reach out to discuss your situation. Having clarity about your options can make this transition more manageable.
Talk to a Morris County Divorce Lawyer About Your Options
If back-to-school stress has you questioning the future of your marriage, let’s talk about your options. Contact Michele Hart at M. Hart Divorce & Family Law in Morris County, New Jersey to schedule a consultation. I’ll help you understand the process and work with you toward solutions that protect your family and your future.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every situation is unique, and you should consult directly with a qualified New Jersey family law attorney about your specific circumstances. Reading this article does not create an attorney-client relationship.