Can your ex really say no to your summer travel plans with the kids? What if your custody agreement doesn’t mention vacations at all? These are questions I hear often from parents this time of year.
At M. Hart Divorce & Family Law, I work with parents across Morris County and Northern New Jersey who want to enjoy summer with their children but feel stuck navigating unclear parenting plans, last-minute schedule changes, or conflict with a co-parent. Whether you're planning a trip out of state or simply need to adjust the calendar, understanding your rights and your responsibilities can make all the difference.
This article breaks down how summer custody works in New Jersey, what to do when plans go off track, and how to protect your parenting time without escalating conflict.
What New Jersey Law Says About Vacation and Parenting Time
In New Jersey, parenting time is governed by a custody order or parenting plan, a legally binding document approved by the court. Many of these agreements include provisions for summer vacations, holidays, and seasonal schedule changes. That said, not all of them are clear or complete.
If your custody order includes a “reasonable notice” clause for vacation time, that usually means you must give the other parent advance written notice of:
- Your dates of travel
- Destination and lodging
- Travel itinerary (if available)
- Emergency contact information
If the order doesn’t address summer parenting time, you and your co-parent must either follow the standard schedule or reach a mutual agreement on any changes. This is often where conflict starts.
Common Summer Custody Conflicts
Even well-intentioned parents can run into roadblocks over summer plans. Some of the most common issues I see include:
- One parent booking a trip without notice or agreement
- Last-minute schedule requests that disrupt the other parent’s time
- Disagreements over out-of-state or international travel
- Concerns about safety or new partners involved in summer activities
- A parent refusing to swap or modify parenting time, even temporarily
When expectations are unclear or communication breaks down, tension can escalate quickly. That is often when parents reach out for help.
Can One Parent Say “No” to Summer Travel Plans?
It depends on the terms of your custody order.
If you share joint legal custody, which is typical in New Jersey, both parents usually have input on major decisions involving the child, including out-of-state travel.
Here’s the bottom line:
- If your planned travel falls within your assigned parenting time and your agreement does not restrict travel, you may be able to move forward.
- If there is no clear vacation clause and the other parent objects, you may need to negotiate a change or seek court approval.
Making unilateral decisions, such as canceling the other parent’s time or taking your child out of state without consent, can violate the order and lead to serious legal consequences.
What to Do If You're Facing a Summer Parenting Dispute
If you are in the middle of a summer custody issue, or trying to avoid one, here are steps I recommend:
1. Review Your Parenting Plan Carefully
Look for sections that mention:
- Vacation or holiday notice requirements
- Travel limitations or boundaries
- Dispute resolution procedures
If your plan is vague or does not cover summer logistics, that may be a sign that it is time for an update.
2. Communicate Clearly and in Writing
Send vacation requests, travel details, and schedule changes via email or text. A written record helps prevent misunderstandings and protects you if conflicts arise.
3. Try to Find Common Ground
Even if things feel tense, starting with a collaborative approach can open the door to resolution. For example:
“I’m hoping to take the kids from July 10 to 14. Would you be willing to trade weekends or adjust the schedule so we can both enjoy summer time with them?”
4. Avoid Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands
If your order requires consent, do not assume you can bypass it. Acting without agreement, even with good intentions, can lead to legal problems.
5. Speak with a Family Law Attorney Before Things Escalate
Sometimes, a brief legal consultation is all it takes to gain clarity and move forward. Whether you need help understanding your agreement, communicating with your co-parent, or considering changes to your custody terms, having legal guidance early on can prevent bigger issues later.
Can You Modify a Custody Order for Summer?
Yes. If your parenting plan is not working, or if it lacks clear guidance for summer vacations or schedule changes, you may be able to request a modification through the court.
In New Jersey, modifications require showing:
- A substantial change in circumstances, such as a new job, persistent conflict, or an evolving parenting schedule
- That the proposed change serves the best interests of your child
For some families, that may involve returning to court. For others, it may be possible to resolve issues through communication, guidance, or a negotiated update to the agreement.
A Thoughtful Approach to Custody Conflict
You do not need to be preparing for litigation to benefit from legal guidance. Many of the parents I work with simply want a way to move forward with less stress, more clarity, and a focus on their children’s well-being.
Whether you are seeking help interpreting your parenting plan, navigating a vacation dispute, or adjusting the terms of your agreement, I can help you explore options that keep the process as fair and efficient as possible.
Let’s Talk About What’s Best for Your Family
If you’re facing summer custody challenges or unsure about your next step, you don’t have to figure it out alone.
At M. Hart Divorce & Family Law, I work with parents throughout Morris County, including Chatham, Denville, Florham Park, Hanover, Morris Township, and Parsippany-Troy Hills, and throughout nearby counties such as Bergen, Essex, Passaic, Somerset, Sussex, and Union.
Together, we can resolve parenting disputes with compassion and clarity, whether through updated custody agreements, negotiated modifications, or collaborative legal guidance outside of court.
Contact me today to schedule a confidential, no-pressure consultation and take the first step toward a peaceful summer.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Every custody case is different, and legal outcomes depend on the specific facts of your situation. If you have questions about your custody agreement or summer parenting time in New Jersey, speak with a qualified family law attorney licensed in your jurisdiction.