Today, there are many ways to divorce, including battling it out in the courtroom. The caveat with this option is that litigated divorce is often not the best choice. As a matter of fact, it’s often bad for you, your spouse and the kids. Here are 5 ways that litigated divorce can be a negative experience for everyone involved.
You Have No Direct Participation in Solutions
In a litigated divorce, your attorney will advise you not to communicate directly with your spouse. It’s the attorney who will be negotiating important issues for you, such as the distribution of assets and child custody. You’ll be clueless as to how these critical matters are being discussed and negotiated. When you’re not an active participant with the issues and solutions, your voice is not heard. Plus, someone else makes the final decisions. The outcome will be decided by a judge. With a litigated divorce, you’re not the one in control.
It’s A Time Consuming Resolution
Litigated divorce is a time-consuming process. Months of litigation can drag into years. Many family courts are congested with divorce cases, and most cases don’t come to trial for two to three years. There are also many steps involved in the litigation process, including filing a complaint for divorce, temporary orders, discovery, taking depositions and trial prep. Depending on the complexity of the issues, much time is often spent in trial preparation. All around, a litigation divorce is a time-consuming process when compared to other alternatives, such as mediation or collaborative law.
It’s A Costly Way to Divorce
While the case is pending, the clock is ticking up with unnecessary and costly expenses. Attorneys are required to appear in court for hearings and to inform the judge on the status of the case. Often, attorneys must sit in court waiting while other cases on the calendar are being heard. Attorneys bill for their time waiting, time spent preparing for court and for the time spent traveling to and from the courthouse. There are also charged expenses for paralegals who type of letters and make phone calls. Fees for a typical divorce in court can run up well into the tens of thousands of dollars.
Adversarial Relationships between Spouses
With a litigated divorce, nice people turn into not-so-nice people. Caught up in the battle, it’s the team of wife and her attorney versus the team of husband and his attorney. In the courtroom, divorce attorneys are combatants by training and nature. Each spends time trying to wear down the other party. The courtroom battle creates bad feelings between the divorcing couple. It destroys the preservation of a relationship with an ex-spouse. This definitely isn’t good if there are children involved.
A Stressful Journey for Both Spouses
A litigated divorce is a contested divorce and sets the stage for frustration, hurt and anger. The litigation process adds more stress to both spouses. Not only are couples stressed out over how long it’s taking and how much it’s costing, the negative feelings of frustration, hurt and anger fuel even more stress. Throughout the litigated divorce process, there is no real opportunity to discuss and vent negative feelings with your partner.
When it comes to opting for a litigated divorce, think long and think hard. Other non-adversarial divorce alternatives like mediation or collaborative divorce just may be a better choice – for both your health and wallet. And if you have to go to court for resolution, be prepared with a good divorce attorney.
