Whether we know it or not, we are negotiating all the time – not just when it comes to our work, but most often with those closest to us.

Family life is full of daily negotiations.  You might negotiate with your spouse about anything from household responsibilities to major parenting decisions.  You might negotiate with your kids about daily chores, bedtimes, or curfews.

But what happens when you can’t seem to reach any agreement and you find blame and resentment taking over?  It can be very easy – and it’s all too common – to point blame and label the other person unreasonable, selfish, or even narcissistic.  You might believe there’s nothing you can do about it.

But there is.  What is it you really want?  Do you want to work it out and improve your relationships at home?  If so, you already have the solution.  The first thing to do is to first take charge of your emotions and refocus on the end game.

And then simply put yourself in the other person’s shoes.  We all need to feel seen, heard and understood.  So, you might ask yourself how does your loved one view the situation?  What’s important to them?  What are they experiencing?  Do they feel angry or hurt?  Why?

And as you listen carefully to the answers, you will learn where the other person is coming from.  By asking and listening, you can achieve the ultimate reward of generating mutual solutions while deepening personal connection with those you love.

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