Everything in our lives is constantly changing.  At the same time, knowing that our circumstances, thoughts, emotions, even our bodies, are only temporary, can help us avoid becoming too attached to a particular outcome.

But change can be hard to accept.  There are certain life changes that can bring about feelings of grief and loss – like losing a job, a loved one, experiencing a divorce, or even our changing role as parents as children move out of the home.

“Change is the only constant in life.” – Heraclitus

Below are 3 powerful actions to embrace difficult life changes:

1.        Feel it.

If, for example, a loved one has passed away, allow yourself to grieve.  If it’s a job that you’ve lost, let yourself feel whatever comes up, whether it’s anger, disappointment, fear, or something else.

It can be extremely helpful to simply observe your emotions and the physical sensations as they arise and pass, like waves in the ocean, without becoming attached to the thoughts that can keep us trapped in the emotions.

Emotions are just temporary.  As difficult – if not impossible – as it can seem in the moments of grief and loss, it can help to remember “this too shall pass.”

2.        Question and reframe.

You might ask yourself “what thoughts am I thinking?”  Or “what is it that I believe will happen now?”  It can help to ask whether these thoughts and beliefs are definitively true.

3.        Let go and allow.

The more we try to resist change, the more miserable we become.  It’s like trying to swim upstream or struggling against a wave in the ocean that’s about to come crashing down.

There is a Buddhist parable that says in life we cannot always control the first arrow; however, the second arrow is our response to the first.  And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.

“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” -John C. Maxwell

When we can accept the change and allow it to exist, it’s like easily flowing with a downstream current or riding that ocean wave to shore.

While letting go and allowing the change to exist is a simple idea, it can be difficult to do.  It can help to remember that when we allow, we can create opportunities and possibilities for our lives and the lives of those we love.

You might, for example, start a new project, plan for the future, plan a vacation, or engage socially with others more often.

And each time you let go and allow the change to be, it becomes more automatic as you build resiliency.

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