Divorce is chock full of misinformation.  People come into my office with all sorts of beliefs and expectations about a divorce.  Many search online.  Or talk to friends, relatives, acquaintances who went through a divorce or knows someone who did.

The truth is that nothing you hear will apply to your own divorce.  Each divorce is as unique as each individual person.  Someone else’s divorce situation has nothing to do with yours.  And chances are you’re not getting the whole story.

Because there is always a backstory; things that happened behind the scenes.  Like what went on during negotiations of a settlement.  Or what each spouse was thinking and motivated them to make decisions about how to settle their divorce or whether to get the court involved.  And how much those decisions cost them or didn’t cost them both financially and emotionally.

The good news is that you are in control of the decisions you make in your New Jersey divorce.  Only you can choose how you want your divorce to go.

Even if your spouse is difficult, you can still choose what kind of divorce you want to have.  If you want it to be amicable, you can choose how you interact with your spouse and how quickly you want to reach a settlement.

On the flip side, you can choose to pursue what you want at all costs, even if it involves deferring to a judge to make the decisions about your money and children.

Each choice has consequences that vary from laying the groundwork for a successful coparenting relationship to costing you all your hard earned assets.

Your attorney’s job, if they do it well, is to lay out and explain your options and consequences and advise you on New Jersey law and which choices are in line with what is most important to you.  And the ultimate choices are up to you.  Learn more about how to settle your divorce in this post.

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