“Amicable divorce” appears to be a contradiction of terms. Some people’s ideas of divorce may automatically include arguments, blame, deceit, and a highly agitated state of discord. For these types of couples, the two words “amicable” and “divorce” could most likely never appear in the same sentence.

But this isn’t always the case. Many times, couples come to the difficult decision of divorce in a calm, amicable manner and truly want the best for one another and for their family. They’ve acknowledged that their marriage has ended and they prefer to minimize adverse financial, and emotional consequences. An amicable, uncontested divorce is possible in these appropriate contexts. Here’s what you need to keep in mind.

In order to divorce amicably, there are a number of issues that you and your spouse will need to agree upon. You may not agree 100% right off at the bat, but you’ll need to eventually come to an agreement over the following issues:

• Property division
• Spousal support
• Child custody
• Parenting time
• Child support

Two Methods That Assist Couples In Divorcing Amicably

If it seems like you and your spouse will be able to come to terms with these core areas in a somewhat amicable and co-beneficial way, divorce litigation is definitely not a route you need to take. Two better, more cost-effective and emotionally sound alternatives include mediation and collaborative divorce.

Divorce Mediation

If you and your spouse choose mediation, a neutral mediator will assist you in reaching a mutually beneficial divorce agreement. Here are some tips for an amicable divorce with mediation:

Your Mediator Wants To Help You Reach A Settlement

When your mediator listens to, validates, and empathizes with your spouse, consider this a good thing. It is important that during this time you refrain from defending yourself or becoming overly emotional. The mediator is not agreeing with your spouse; remember that your mediator is trying to uncover the interests and goals of your spouse to facilitate reaching a settlement.

Bring Your Best Listening Skills To Mediation

If you make it a point to listen, validate, and empathize with your spouse, you can help create the cooperative momentum to maximize the chances for efficiently reaching a mutually beneficially settlement.

Collaborative Divorce

Collaborative Divorce is a dispute-resolution process that uses a team approach to guide spouses to reach a settlement of issues including custody and parenting time, alimony and child support, and division of assets and debt.

Divorce is a sensitive and personal matter, and Collaborative Divorce can be a preferable alternative to the lengthy, costly, contentious litigation process.

This process is similar to mediation, however, in Collaborative Divorce, both sides are represented by an attorney.

Skilled Professionals Are Available To Assist Spouses And Their Children

Collaborative Divorce also offers you the support of skilled professionals centered on achieving your needs, goals, and interests. The members of your collaborative “team” consist of you and your spouse, both attorneys, and typically one or more of the following professionals: divorce coach, child specialists, and financial professionals.

When you have a team of professionals all focused on resolving conflicts and finding the best solution for both parties, the results are amazing. The goal of the collaborative “team” is to achieve a global resolution that facilitates the transition to a new family relationship.

Both Parties Communicate What Is Important About An Issue

Rather than arguing about a particular position or solution, couples discuss the importance of an issue. This mutual exchange means that the couple is cooperating with one another instead of adamantly holding onto a position without regard to their spouse’s point of view.

By avoiding as many negative aspects of a contentious divorce as possible, moving forward without hostile feelings is feasible. An amicable divorce is beneficial to you and most importantly, your children.