Let’s face facts. The vast majority of divorced or soon to be divorced individuals consider the divorce process to be one of the most difficult experiences of their lives. Although the stress level of the divorce process varies drastically from case to case, a divorce is rarely, if ever, easy for anyone.
Faced with innumerable day-to-day hassles and headaches, those in the midst of a divorce might lose sight of the fact that the process is fundamentally one of transition. Like most significant transitions, divorce comes saddled with a great deal of confusion and pain. You should never lose sight, however, of the transition’s capacity to bring hope and the promise of future happiness. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel…even if that light is not always clearly visible!
In order to ensure the best possible outcome, you should develop a plan and find a clear path forward without succumbing to the chaotic whirlwind of emotions that often accompany a divorce. Before you begin the divorce process, carefully consider taking the four steps below.
- Seek Help from a Therapist or Counselor
Even if your marriage seems beyond repair, talking through your issues with a licensed and experienced therapist or marriage counselor can often work wonders.
Unfortunately, not all marriages are salvageable and sometimes divorce is the best solution In these cases, however, divorce counseling can help you determine what went wrong and develop effective coping mechanisms for the future. A good divorce therapy program should focus upon developing skills that allow individuals to let go of resentment and regret, find a balance between the legal and emotional turmoil that often accompanies divorce, and to begin to create a new future for themselves and for their loved ones.
- Talk to a Competent Family Law Attorney
Even if you eventually decide to pursue mediation or another method of divorce that avoids going to court, it’s a good idea to talk over your options with an attorney who focuses specifically on divorce and family matters. If you know which divorce process you are most interested in pursuing, then you should speak with an attorney who is qualified and experienced in that particular area. For instance, if you know that divorce mediation is right for you and your spouse, you should consult with an attorney who routinely conducts mediation services. Also, spouses who similarly want to foster amicable divorce proceedings and work toward a mutually beneficial resolution may want to contact an attorney that specializes in collaborative divorce. Those who feel that traditional litigation will be necessary would be well advised to contact a divorce attorney with a wealth of experience in the court system.
- Create a New Routine for Yourself
Creating a new routine is a key component to a successful divorce transition. No matter how happy or unhappy your previous circumstances were, you can begin to structure a new life for yourself that is in alignment with your present goals and values. Doing so will help you achieve a healthier and more authentic you. The road to a successful future is built on a daily basis. In order to move forward, you should encourage yourself to break old habits that no longer suit you and establish new ones that are healthier and more suitable.
- Make Good Communication a Top Priority
In the midst of a divorce, it is often difficult to maintain open lines of communication. This is particularly true if, as in many struggling relationships, ineffective communication was one of the leading causes of your martial strife to begin with. Nevertheless, frank but respectful interaction is an essential component of any successful divorce process. Beyond dealing with your estranged spouse, a policy of open, civil discourse will also prove extremely beneficial when dealing with legal professionals, children, other family members, and friends.
