You might know the old saying “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Ending a marriage is tough. The undoing of life as you know it is tough. So how can you get going? Here are 5 actions to take immediately:
1. Put the brakes on the downward spiral.
Take much needed time to grieve while reaching out for emotional support. Consult a mental health therapist or coach as needed. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually so that you can make important decisions.
2. Find your passion.
This is an opportunity (however disguised at the moment) to change the course of your future. Ask yourself tough yet insightful questions – what excites you, intrigues you, and interests you? If you had no fear and no doubt, what would you be doing? Record your answers.
3. Take stock of the marital finances.
Pull your credit report for each of the three credit reporting agencies. You can do this for free now and once each year through annualcreditreport.com. Your credit report will give you valuable insight into who you owe and how much.
Meanwhile, take the time to access and copy for yourself such statements as bank accounts, retirement accounts, pensions, annuities, credit cards, automobile loans and other loans, stocks and brokerage accounts, mortgage, copies of polices for medical, dental, life, automobile, and any other insurance, federal and state income tax returns, and safe deposit box. Such documents will streamline the divorce process and help you plan for the future.
4. Find out your legal rights.
Consult with and hire a good lawyer that concentrates in divorce and family law. Hiring the right attorney is one of the most important decisions you can make when starting the divorce process. It is also an investment that will pay off for you in droves.
Preferably, your attorney will listen to you and discuss opportunities rather than limitations. Otherwise, move on.
5. Address your financial needs.
If you don’t have credit in your own name, open your own credit card to start building credit right away.
Purchase those items that you will likely need to live on your own or with your children, such as furniture, furnishings, clothing, etc. Purchasing such items before any divorce complaint is filed could maximize the likelihood that your spouse will need to share in such expenditures.
Consult with a reputable accountant and Certified Financial Planner. They can give you a broader range of options and opportunities in the divorce based on your short-term and long-term financial goals.
Good luck and get going!
